the run up to the holiday season kept me busy, as i have started to plan my annual new years card factory effort...i started years ago making handmade cards, and i now feel the pressure every year to come up with something clever.  from gocco prints to hand-cut stamps, semi-collaged and chipboarded out.  they vary.  i'm not quite decided yet, but i know it'll be fun once i get going and settled.

in the meantime, the book is being carried by my new favorite crafting and creative community shop, Hands on 3rd:

http://www.handson3rd.com/

and they're participating in the big westside open house festivities tonight!  so, come on over, or swing by on your shopping outings to grab a signed copy of The Art of Wooing!

happy holidaze!

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I'm delighted to announce that another east side location will have The Art of Wooing on hand for the holidays - it's now available at Yolk, the darling and unbelievably well-curated shop on Silverlake Blvd that always leaves me smiling.

http://www.shopyolk.com/index.html

I've often thought about physical space as a three dimensional collage of sorts, or so goes my logic when I make excuses for the semi-chaos of my apartment.  But I believe there's something to it.  Art is making meaning out of intentional (or sometimes unintentional) juxtapositions, no?  And I find that every now and then I enter a space that feels so welcoming, gently demanding my attention wherever I look, that I feel like I'm in an installation.

Yolk is like that.  Supporting artists, fostering the artistic spirit, and generally allowing a playful approach to life and all of its accouterments.  So, whether you're looking for a gift or just in need of a pick-me-up, check it out if you're over that way.

And look around your own living space to see where the beauty speaks to you...

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So, it seems everyone is focused on Halloween and making costumes (and who can blame you, with the mad wind descending on LA) and the Holiday Cards and Gift Tags class at Hands on 3rd is being rescheduled for Sunday, December 6th 10am - 1pm.

But don't despair!  The Travel Journal class is still scheduled for Saturday, November 14th from 1030am - 130pm.  I'm really looking forward to this class, as travel and collaging with ephemera collected from around the world are some of my favorite things.  I collect currency, scraps of ads on the sidewalk, postings and receipts.  And I love the idea that we can find "art supplies" in the unlikeliest of places.

http://www.handson3rd.com/Calendar.html

Poke around, your wallet, the cushions of your couch, that scrapbook that you always wanted to start, and see what you can find...

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Amen!  A wise friend once told me this, and I have done my best to follow the advice ever since.  While I have little to show for it aside from amazing tales of travel in the South Pacific, stacks of beautiful design books, art supplies and rare ephemera galore, and the experiences that get funneled into my art, I have always found that spending money on classes and education can't be beat.  Investing in ourselves is a gift few people can give.

To that end, I'm going to be teaching at Hands on 3rd, the new creative community space in Los Angeles on the funky stretch of 3rd with design shops that have often coaxed dollars from my wallet.

http://www.handson3rd.com/Home_Page.html

The first class, on Thursday, October 29th from 730pm - 930pm, will be focused on mixed media and collage techniques, as applied to holiday cards and gift tags.  Much as I'm the first one to heap out more than I can afford on fab stationery (have you seen the stuff from www.rosebud-design.com???), I know that when I receive something handmade, I keep it forever.

So, whether you haven't played with paper and scissors since grade school or aspire to be the next Nick Bantock, come join the fun!  If you can't make this one, we're doing a class in November to create travel journals.

Hope to see you there...

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i had fully intended to post more frequently, but i have to admit september ended up being a tad rough.  i've always felt birthdays are a good time to reflect, even if we're not thrilled with the whole picture.  that said, it can help propel us into the next lap around the sun with more perspective, which is never a bad thing.

i made this little collage postcard piece at crop night, a crafting evening hosted by Hands on 3rd, a fab new creative community space in LA.  as it turns out, i'm going to be teaching some mixed media collage and decoupage classes there coming up - both through an applied lens to make it easier on folks who might be intimidated by a big, blank canvas.

so, the first class is next thursday, october 29th from 730pm - 930pm: holiday cards and gift tags...because store-bough cards are overrated!

http://www.handson3rd.com/Calendar.html

next up will be travel journals, a favorite of mine, as i often find materials and inspiration when i'm on the road...

until then, take a moment over a cup of coffee, tea, or just some fresh air and consider your priorities.  i find i have to do this daily!

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Don’t wait for him to call and don’t count on his calling. Maybe call him when you feel like it (if that’s every minute, try once or twice a week) and just say hi, chat, check-in. Unless you’re ready for a jump-bones manoeuvre which could leave you sad and awkward. I dunno, I don’t think I could encourage you to do anything that could possibly land you on your face.

I’m a no-casualties sort of player though.

And if you call him every once in a while and he never calls you or your conversations don’t seem balanced or energized, then forget about him. He’s not worth your trouble. He probably is already not really worth your trouble but you choose your battles and you’ve chosen this.

Seduction is a sham. Nobody ever does it, a lucky few have experienced it – don’t try it at home.

[excerpt from "The Art of Wooing: An Email Tale of Modern Courtship" www.theartofwooing.com]

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I'm a sensitive boat.

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Observations and Tips from the Trenches
by Kaz Brecher, author, The Art of Wooing: An Email Tale of Modern Courtship
www.theartofwooing.com

I was recently invited to contribute an article to eHarmony's advice section - the article can be seen here, so feel free to add your comments there and share:

http://advice.eharmony.com/article/the-art-of-wooing-observations-and-tips-from-the-trenches.html

Do you find yourself sheepishly emailing friends to dissect ambiguous interactions with your crush or trying to decipher text messages for a clear sign of interest? Have you wondered if you’re being asked out on a date or just for coffee? Are you struggling to find ways to flirt that land you on the right side of the line between being adorable and being offensive? Welcome to wooing in the modern age!

Wooing is the slippery, occasionally delicious, but more often infuriating exercise between being attracted to someone and dating that person. Courtship has a long and storied history, with intricate rituals and passing fads, and the dictionary definition of wooing outlines a defined path towards marriage. But this is neither here nor there in the free-wheeling world of men and women today. As I have come to understand it, the real “art of wooing” in this day and age is not about manipulation or trickery. Instead, it involves mastering the art of communication, taking chances, and being real with other people...

Sometime between leaving college and realizing I’d become an AdultTM, I found myself pursuing an elusive poet who came into my life as my kickboxing instructor and, like most people who are attracted to each other these days, we had no idea what to do. I survived the 18-month tumult, as I survive most of my life, with support from friends who weighed in with advice and shared their own experiences in this tricky task. Looking back at the “email tale” culled from the back and forth, I was struck by the profound wisdom (in hindsight, of course) which had emerged about the current climate of today’s lovers-at-large. So, rather than trying to formulate a definitive set of guidelines for everyone, forcing the eventual outcome of the one-size-fits-all mentality - undoubtedly one-size-fits-none - I distilled the data into 10 themes, and a Unified Theory of Modern Wooing emerged.

In short, I contend that flirting began to meet its death on college campuses as the very real fear of sexual harassment and date rape collided with a crescendo of feminism in the wake of 1960s women’s lib and the Clarence Thomas backlash of the ‘80s. Men essentially developed verbal performance anxiety, and women became hair-trigger sensitive to innuendo that threatened their equal footing. Or so goes my theory. Many of us, roughly between the ages of 20-45, were raised to believe that our American society was governed by new rules. But the truth is that when the social gender norms of the ‘50s were dissolved, they were never replaced with more flexible parameters. In 1945, when a housewife chose to go out wearing black fishnet stockings and fire engine red lipstick, she knew which message she was sending out AND she knew that men would receive that message undiluted. There was a consistency of communication.

Now, I watch everyone sending out mixed messages, trying to read minds and playing at a romantic game no longer governed by commonly acknowledged rules. And it doesn’t help that with marriage happening later, we woo with much more baggage than we would if we were homing in on a high school sweetheart. Many of us bring the patterns of past lovers and lessons learned into the expectations of our present passions. Finally, if we factor in the breadth of diversity to which we are now exposed and from which we can potentially meet our match, I see real language and cultural barriers added that were not as common in days past. Given all of this, the only conclusion I can draw is that we need to throw out the rules as we know them, adapt our wooing on a case-by-case basis, and commit to communicating with each other one-on-one. Easier said than done, believe me, I know (she says as she’s currently struggling to broach the “Do you like me? Check yes, no, or maybe” question with a great guy sitting squarely somewhere between friend and flirt).

But I have found that keeping in mind the following three themes, seemingly the most obvious though requiring the most effort, will absolutely improve your ability to woo more effectively:

Read Between the Signs: If you are confused by the signs you are seeing, stop and ask directions. (Yes, this means you may risk being rejected, but at least you’ll know if it’s time to take that exit ramp.)

Baseline Vital Stats: Take frequent readings to establish a sense of baseline behavior before jumping to conclusions. What is standard flirting vs. being friendly for your object of affection? Calibrating properly means gathering lots of data (i.e. going out several times).

A La Mode: Love comes in many styles. Wooing as someone else leads to confusion when your real self shows up. To avoid disappointment, be yourself.

Individuality has long been a key ingredient for Americans. But as we emphasize our unique qualities, we render romantic generalizations more useless still. There are many kinds of lovers out there and wooing as though there are only two, namely “men” and “women,” seems overly simplistic to me. Most of us would like to be seen as more than the sum of our stereotypes. My kickboxing poet was very different from the man who came before him. And, while it is impossible to avoid making any assumptions, I really got to know him by getting to know him. We must become comfortable with communication, from every angle. We must be willing to listen and to share. And, no doubt, if you pursue this path, your valiant wooing efforts will be a tale worth sharing with friends, if not the start of “happily ever after”…

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